http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com Eating Disorder Archive http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945819275/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-012-my <div><img alt="I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 012 My undying love for all shapes and sizes of beautiful women has been a sharp edge on my denial. It doesn’t make sense to me how I can be so terrified of being ‘fat’ when I fall in lust with women far..." src="http://68.media.tumblr.com/30ebbf6e2f0a653963cf553871171270/tumblr_o7rul0OXzy1vvglsjo1_500.jpg" /></div><p>My undying love for all shapes and sizes of beautiful women has been a sharp edge on my denial. It doesn’t make sense to me how I can be so terrified of being ‘fat’ when I fall in lust with women far heavier than myself.</p><p><a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.patreon.com%2Fuser%3Fu%3D80271%26ty%3Dh%26alert%3D2&t=NzI5OGZhYTMyNmJiNjE2ZDNhODIyMzFhYjU1Y2QwMzZiM2Y3Y2YxZSxZY1VvS09DMQ%3D%3D&b=t%3ASc3ffhxWq1QmTdhrBi4jng&p=http%3A%2F%2Fkhalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144945819275%2Fi-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-012-my&m=1"><b>This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!</b></a><br /></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945861410/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-013-i"><b>Next page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945765745/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-011"><b>Previous page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945267875/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-p01-ive-been"><b>From the beginning</b></a></p> Tue, 23 May 2017 08:00:41 +0000 http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945861410/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-013-i <div><img alt="I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 013 I cannot tell you how much I still struggle with this. I still find myself thinking along the lines ‘I can’t possible be anorexic, because they can’t see themselves for what they truly are. When I look in..." src="http://68.media.tumblr.com/80fa4c436cdaadb57e716ec7e0c794a5/tumblr_o7runlYTpT1vvglsjo1_500.jpg" /></div><p>I cannot tell you how much I still struggle with this. I still find myself thinking along the lines ‘I can’t possible be anorexic, because they can’t see themselves for what they truly are. When I look in the mirror I see the brutal truth’. I can’t imagine myself being someone whose eyes don’t see properly. If everyone told you the sky was green, would you honestly be able to believe them, when you can see quite obviously that it’s blue? A few days ago in a meeting with a recovery officer, she referred to my ‘obvious body dysmorphia’ and rather than listening to the words that followed, I found myself on a long-winding mental excursion on why on earth she would label me like that when I am so level-headed and logic-driven. </p><p>My dietitian is a sweetheart in that she attempts to give me information as scientifically as possible (upon my request), so that I can trust it. She pointed me towards clinical studies showing the vast differences in brain functioning in subjects with body dysmorphia disorder. One study showed a neural pathway that suggested that when subjects with BDD looked in the mirror, parts of the brain associated with anxiety and emotional response became overactive, essentially hijacking the visual stimuli before it could be properly processed. They literally were seeing something different due to the way their brain was attempting to interpret the visual cues.</p><p>Even after going over this information and accepting that it makes sense, I still struggle to understand how it could possibly apply to me. Why should my brain function any differently?</p><p><a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.patreon.com%2Fuser%3Fu%3D80271%26ty%3Dh%26alert%3D2&t=ODZiMTFjN2RhNjZmNWI4NTI0NDJiYmMxZThlYTEzMzU3NTkzMTdiNyx4WlQ3WERRWA%3D%3D&b=t%3ASc3ffhxWq1QmTdhrBi4jng&p=http%3A%2F%2Fkhalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144945861410%2Fi-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-013-i&m=1"><b>This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!</b></a><br /></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945927920/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-014-this"><b>Next page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945819275/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-012-my"><b>Previous page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945267875/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-p01-ive-been"><b>From the beginning</b></a></p> Wed, 24 May 2017 08:01:06 +0000 http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945927920/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-014-this <div><img alt="I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 014 This conversation was pretty horrible, and felt like such an attack at the time. But afterwards I was able to see how much love, compassion and respect my girlfriend has for me, that she would go to such..." src="http://68.media.tumblr.com/adb0150e9239f59c8a0a5be904ae8932/tumblr_o7rurpyZT01vvglsjo1_500.jpg" /></div><p>This conversation was pretty horrible, and felt like such an attack at the time. But afterwards I was able to see how much love, compassion and respect my girlfriend has for me, that she would go to such lengths to educate and prepare herself to deal with the consequences before confronting me.</p><p><a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.patreon.com%2Fuser%3Fu%3D80271%26ty%3Dh%26alert%3D2&t=ZmExOTNmM2JiNmQ1MWZkM2Q2YTk0ZTRmOWUwNDU4MWM3NDk4YWNkYyxNVmxOR29rbA%3D%3D&b=t%3ASc3ffhxWq1QmTdhrBi4jng&p=http%3A%2F%2Fkhalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144945927920%2Fi-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-014-this&m=1"><b>This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!</b></a><br /></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945962530/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-015-im-so"><b>Next page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945861410/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-013-i"><b>Previous page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945267875/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-p01-ive-been"><b>From the beginning</b></a></p> Thu, 25 May 2017 08:00:42 +0000 http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945962530/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-015-im-so <div><img alt="I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 015 I’m so ashamed of this behaviour. Sometimes I still can’t believe the verbal lashing I gave my girlfriend when she confronted me. She didn’t deserve it, and we both knew it. But I think she was prepared for..." src="http://68.media.tumblr.com/e107073e540e1fdf7cdc07a35f92ea90/tumblr_o7rutvVlOK1vvglsjo1_500.jpg" /></div><p>I’m so ashamed of this behaviour. Sometimes I still can’t believe the verbal lashing I gave my girlfriend when she confronted me. She didn’t deserve it, and we both knew it. But I think she was prepared for that too. She just let me rant and rave until I’d torn us both to shreds, and then set about helping me to pick up the pieces.</p><p><a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.patreon.com%2Fuser%3Fu%3D80271%26ty%3Dh%26alert%3D2&t=NzIxY2I3OTgyY2RlMGZkY2ZmMjJjYWNmNDlhOGVhYTIzZGQ4MDZmZix5c0FjeDZQSQ%3D%3D&b=t%3ASc3ffhxWq1QmTdhrBi4jng&p=http%3A%2F%2Fkhalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144945962530%2Fi-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-015-im-so&m=1"><b>This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!</b></a><br /></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945998590/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-016-i"><b>Next page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945927920/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-014-this"><b>Previous page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945267875/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-p01-ive-been"><b>From the beginning</b></a></p> Fri, 26 May 2017 08:00:58 +0000 http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945998590/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-016-i <div><img alt="I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 016 I still struggle to comprehend just how supportive and unconditionally loving she is. This page brought to you by my generous Patrons! Next page Previous page From the beginning" src="http://68.media.tumblr.com/6e3fbcd469a7e3fefe666676daec322a/tumblr_o7ruw3jgs31vvglsjo1_500.jpg" /></div><p>I still struggle to comprehend just how supportive and unconditionally loving she is.</p><p><a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.patreon.com%2Fuser%3Fu%3D80271%26ty%3Dh%26alert%3D2&t=MDdkMmU3OWNhMmVmMWZhM2JmMTMzZGIyY2NhYzBmMjVkZGQ0YTc2OSxoUjF5T0MyQQ%3D%3D&b=t%3ASc3ffhxWq1QmTdhrBi4jng&p=http%3A%2F%2Fkhalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144945998590%2Fi-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-016-i&m=1"><b>This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!</b></a><br /></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144946032935/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-page-017-its"><b>Next page</b></a></p><p><a href="http://khalemchurstcomics.tumblr.com/post/144945267875/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-p01-ive-been"><b>From the beginning</b></a></p> Mon, 29 May 2017 08:00:41 +0000